If My Best Friend Was a Robot
If my best friend was a robot,
she’d never lie to me.
She wouldn’t cancel plans.
She’d remember my birthday.
If my best friend was a robot,
she’d listen carefully.
She’d always drive.
She’d always pay.
She’d tell me if I had something in my teeth.
She’d take care of my cat if I went on vacation,
instead of being insulted for not being invited.
She wouldn’t stare at people’s breasts.
She doesn’t care about breasts.
Or girls. Or guys. Or sex in general.
My old best friend would hurt my feelings.
She’d make me wait.
She’d ignore me on purpose.
My old best friend would sometimes take two days to text me back.
And then she’d be like,
“Oh, sorry—I just saw this but totally forgot to hit send. My bad. What’s up?”
Robot people won’t hurt you on purpose.
Robot friends would just tell you how it is.
